The Best Gift I Ever Gave Myself: Becoming the Client

I am a retired mental health therapist of 8 years, but when I was working as an active counselor, people sought therapy for many different reasons. It could be for parent-child challenges, marital challenges, personal feelings, dating concerns, binge eating, anorexia, bulimia, depression, anxiety, family issues, grief and bereavement, family members of people who had personality disorders, sexuality concerns, or gender dysphoria. If you can think of it, someone probably had it. It’s called normal.

What I remember the most is that I was always impressed by the client’s ability to be so honest with me, a complete stranger. I would sit in awe of them while active therapy was going on! I was just so impressed by people’s ability to state their concerns up front with me, and I recall telling most clients exactly that! It was a strength for them to be able to ask for help with something a person might feel concerned by or overwhelmed with. It was a strength to open up about their feelings and what exactly was hurting them.

While I was a counselor, I recall thinking, “I could never be that honest!” But what I learned was that when you are in emotional turmoil, it is a gift to be able to sit with a counselor and talk about your issues and your feelings. It was definitely a strength to admit, “I need some help!”

Some people believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness, and I feel most concerned for those folks who trap themselves in boxes they don’t believe they can or deserve to be outside of.

Sadly, there is a stigma about asking for help. People hold in so much stuff inside and it can actually make a person physically sick and in need of medical attention. Sometimes medical people will recognize that in their patient and suggest they talk to a therapist/counselor.

Recognizing when you need the help of a therapist involves self-awareness. Many people struggle with self-awareness; they may have so much of it that it hinders them from working or getting on with things, while others have little to no self-awareness at all. And that’s okay—it's important to understand that a lack of self-awareness may cause problems. Therapists are trained and schooled to know ways of dealing with these concerns and help can be achieved.

Asking for help also strengthens our connection with other people and it fosters trust and empathy with others. It’s important to know you are not alone, and a therapist can remind you that having feelings is normal.

When I needed to be a client and became one, it was the best gift I’d ever invested in…myself!

If you've been telling yourself that asking for help makes you weak, I hope this is the nudge you needed to hear otherwise. You don't have to have it all figured out to reach out — you just have to be willing. If you're not ready to see a therapist yet, start smaller: talk to a friend, a pastor, or pick up a copy of my book, Benedictions Given to an Ordinary Woman, and see how an ordinary person's honest story can be its own kind of first step. Whatever you choose, choose something. You're worth the investment.

Shalom ~ shalom!