A pause may be helpful. A pause gives a person time to check one's own assumptions, consider who may be affected, and to ensure we know the difference between a thoughtful decision or an impulsive decision. Talking it over with someone may be helpful as well when our emotions are hyped-up. An over-reaction may be unhelpful or may hurt someone else.
Familiar situations may feel safer than change, even when the familiarity is not good for us. Sometimes a person stays in an abusive relationship simply because it feels familiar when change of any kind, even positive change, feels threatening.
People naturally want to be accepted and we may hesitate to do the right things for ourselves if it may upset others, family or friends. Generally speaking, people like to keep the peace. We may understand that we need to have an honest conversation with someone, we may need to apologize to someone, we may need to set a few boundaries where others are concerned, but avoiding usually is about what we value and what we may be fearful of with change.
Harsh self-criticism usually does not ignite lasting change. Calling yourself irresponsible or saying we are weak may inflict shame feelings without ever addressing the underlying causes. Self-compassion is not about letting ourselves off the hook, it means we need to understand ourselves a bit better so we don’t get caught up in shame.
Sometimes we hesitate because knowledge and action requires us to use different parts of ourselves in the human experience of living. Knowledge gives us direction and emotions affect how comfortable or difficult the journey may feel.
Things like perfection, uncertainty, concern for others and fear may slow down the process but the goal isn’t to eliminate all hesitation, but to pause ourselves in order to engage our brain (thinking) from our emotions (feelings), to protect ourselves from unnecessary discomfort. Often the right thing may become easier when the fear disappears..but in our realistic world, it is more likely that we will learn to act even when the fear is still there.
Shalom–shalom,
Kristin