Why Presence Matters More Than Perfect Words

In a marriage, in a friendship, in times of crisis, or in a professional environment, the value of presence most often outweighs the words that are said. During difficult times, people often remember who was there but not always the words that were said.

I’m not speaking of physical proximity; I’m speaking about emotional availability from one to another. I cannot stress the importance of this more! If a person feels seen, heard, and understood by their friend or partner, it fosters trust and genuine comfort between them. Marriages fall apart if this is not the core between two people...distance settles in, as does distrust and emotional loneliness. 

To be present shows genuine care for another person. At times, words may be misunderstood during a crisis when emotions run high, or when they are not clarified with an example. Times together create lasting memories where words may fall short. Listening is also more important than speaking and asking questions for clarification, as it allows for others to feel valued when they feel heard.

Being present for someone can be difficult, as some meanings cannot be expressed in words. However, being with a friend or spouse during tough times usually offers comfort and a closeness that words can’t always express what one feels at the time.

If you have difficulty being present for someone such as a friend in crisis or a spouse, practice the art of being present. Accept constructive feedback if the ‘other’ is not feeling that you are present for him/her. Make it a conversation of assistance so you can grow closer together as friends in a relationship or marriage. I hope you have found a friend in your spouse!

In His hands we live! Shalom–shalom!

Kristin Gedstad