Letting Go of What You Thought Your Life Would Be

Everyone has to “let go” of something; let’s take a divorce, for example. Sometimes the ability to “let go” is where adulthood begins, and often where sadness and grief begin. Age does not define where our adulthood begins emotionally, but the ability to “let go” of a dream and redefine yourself does. Redefining yourself becomes the true version of yourself after a lost dream, after your former identity ceases to exist, or after a life change that alters how you thought your life would turn out. This requires time, patience with oneself, and getting back up to do life again and again.

A person’s identity or our belief that who or what we attached ourselves to in marriage would always remain the same, always be counted on, always be true, is, in effect, doing a disservice to ourselves. Yet how many of us have done just that!

Emotionally, we change when we look back on the years we spent in a marriage that is still falling apart. We may feel like a failure when compared with someone whose identity has remained intact and whose future is more predictable/acceptable. However, we are all human, and we all make mistakes. When we look closely at our mistakes, they may feel worse or bigger than someone else's. 

When we stop pretending to be our old selves and face our new reality, we can choose to stop blaming ourselves for what didn’t last. New possibilities may also arise when we “let go” of our past beliefs and embrace the difference in front of us. However, learning to “let go” is not an easy or quick process. Growing up takes time regardless of our present age. We will no doubt “grow again,” as we age and walk into different seasons of our lives; that is a true blessing.

Ultimately, what we learn from our mistakes matters most. Are we more mature now? Are we more sensitive to others who’ve made a similar mistake? Are we kinder to others who also fell down in the middle of their lives and lost everything? Letting go of who we once were and moving forward in God’s will for us is the ultimate key to happiness.